Confrontations
by Mario Quade
Summary: Based on the Spoilers for the next five episodes. Castle is hurt by Beckett's confession and she has a girl night with Lanie. Rating could go up later.
1. The Limey

**Disclaimer: The rights for Castle are to the unluck of the show in the hands of Andrew W. Marlowe  
>I rewrote the first and second chapter after watching "47 seconds" and the promo for "The Limey".<strong>

Beckett stood in her living room with two glasses and a wine bottle in her hands. "He is acting differently lately, like he is not longer himself but his book-selling persona again." she complained to Lanie, who was sitting at her couch and waited for her wine.

"He is properly done with waiting." was everything she said about that.

"Do you think he is moving on?" Beckett was scared about that than she had denied this possibility since she began to recognize Castle's change in behavior.

"Yeah he is. Come on had you really hoped he would wait forever for you? He broke up with Gina over one year ago and hadn't dated one woman since then. And you were the one you made him wait for so long 'cause you were again running away from yourself."

"Moment are you telling me it's all my fault?" asked Beckett in disbelieve.

"Yeah I do honey. That man did everything you could ask for and 'cause you were to afraid to face the possibility of an happy life for you, like you always did since we know each other. I'll tell you one thing: Javi and I broke up because I'm afraid of getting married, after I were already married once, on college, and my husband cheated on my back then. And now we began to causal date again and yeah I know he is seeing other women too, because he is searching something serious something of that I'm afraid of committing yet and still we are seeing each other and try to work our issues out. You never do something like that till it's to late and right now it is maybe already to late to get Castle."

Before Beckett could say something about that they were called to a new crime scene. As soon they were there Beckett saw Castle's Ferrari approaching. "Do you think I shell tell him how I feel?"

But in exactly that moment the Ferrari stopped and a blonde woman was jumping out of it, together with Castle. They both shared a kiss and he gave her his keys before entered the crime scene. Beckett was shocked beyond believe. Was it already to late? "Maybe you should wait." was everything what Lanie said.

They worked on the case the whole night and in the morning Castle's new girlfriend appeared at the precinct. He was acting more differently than ever: He seemed to care not one a bit about the case than the story behind it, he made jokes and told stories but he never addressed Beckett. He was very distant to her, more distant than ever. And now he was completely ignoring the case and was running after his new girlfriend, this blonde bitch how Beckett was already calling her.

When Castle returned to the precinct later he slobbered over her and that pissed Beckett completely off. Ryan and Esposito found the address of the man who had called their main suspect just an hour ago and it appeared that this was an hotel room. The man living in this room was in fact a British detective from Scotland Yard who was in the USA to investigate in the death of the daughter of his best friend, their actual case.

Jack Hunt, that was his name, was pretty hot and consisted seemingly only out of muscles. His British accent was enough to make Beckett very attracted to him. She began to flirt with him but Castle didn't cared a bit about that fact at least not when it came to the naked eye.

* * *

><p>Since he had found out about Beckett's secret and made the conclusion that she didn't love him which led to his decision of moving on in his personal life he tried to turn off his feelings for Beckett but that didn't really worked out. He still loved her and his rational part told him that his will never change when he is seeing her nearly every day. And because of this love he was very jealous about Hunt but he tried his best to hid it especially because he already had a new girlfriend with Nina. But while he knew that she was only a crush and nothing really serious it was very liberating to have dates again. He felt more free than ever in the last two years.<p>

After seeing Beckett in her prom dress for the embassy prom which she was attending with Hunt for getting their main suspect the ambassador to a confession, he felt the jealousy burning badly inside him. Maybe his rational part was right he could only move on when he would no longer see Beckett. The only way to do that was to change the precinct. The Question he was asking himself were the how. How could he do that? He needed a damned good reason to stay with the NYPD while not longer following around Beckett.

"Have now understand what wanted to explain to you the whole time?" asked him his mother.

Castle was shouting a glance at Martha. "Yeah I have. I have to change the precinct, I just can't longer stand seeing her everyday." was his answer.

Martha smiled at her son. "And what's about Nina, your new girlfriend. How's that working out."

"I don't know mother" Castle sighted. "She is nice but I think I can't longer do that."

"Do what my son?"

"Be the man I used to be before Beckett. I just can't. The best thing to do with Nina is to tell her that it's over." Martha still smiled and patted his arm. "You still love her do you?" Castle nodded saddly. He wished he could change that, he wished he could just be the man he used to be but he wasn't and he couldn't change that and that made him angry.

Alexis sat in the living room and had watched the whole conversation what led to her decision to interfere into the relationship of her father with Beckett.

* * *

><p>While on the prom Beckett was very near to jump Hunt's bones. Oh god these accent made her so weak. Why Castle couldn't have spoken with this one? Then they wouldn't be in this situation right now. She fought the urge to sleep with Hunt successfully. She reminded herself of her feelings for Castle and that she had to fight for him now and her chance would drop even lower than they were already by now. After the case was solved and Hunt tried to woo her again by asking her out for a drink, what she rejected and he told her that e would stay in the city for a few days, she began to write a letter to Rick about her feelings for him because she knew he wouldn't listen to her in his mental state of complete crush on another woman right now and also because this crush destroyed her courage of telling him everything, her secret and her feelings. When she was done she picked a envelope for the letter and put this one in the envelope. The only thing what was still open was the way she would give Castle the letter. Should she just walk straight to him and give it him? No then she could talk with him about all of this by herself.<p>

While she was still thinking Alexis came into the precinct. "Detective Beckett could I please talk to you?"

Beckett was taken aback by that request. "Sure always."

Alexis sat on her fathers chair besides Beckett's desk and began to collect her thoughts. "Please stay away from my dad."

"What?" Beckett couldn't believe what she just heard.

"I don't know what you have done but he was so much in love with you that he tried to take a bullet for you and began to take me aback to second place in his life, for you. And now something what you did broke his heart and all this growth he had gone throw in the last three years is gone by now he his back to the playboy persona, which by the way isn't pleasing him anymore either 'cause he had to learn that he's not longer the man from two years ago. I don't know what you did in detail I only know that you lied to him about something very important and that broke his heart. He tries to get over you as a person and still comes back to here 'cause he loves it to play cop. But I know him and I can see how much it hurts him to see you every day knowing that his dream of a happy life with you doesn't have any change."

After Alexis was finished and had tears in her eyes Beckett felt also tears approaching in her eyes. "I didn't know I" and then it hit her like a truck: He heard her. He had heard her confession to their suspect this few weeks back in the bombing case. He knew that she remembered his confession of love and lied to him about that fact. She could only imagine how hurt he had must felt back then and properly still felt. What that the reason he began to distance himself from her, was he so mad? "How mad is he?" she asked with a very unsafe voice.

Alexis had calmed just down as Beckett asked her that. "You don't want to understand it don't you?"she shouted at Beckett and the other cops in the bullpen turned around to look at them curiously. "He's not mad, he's hurt and disappointed but not mad and when than on himself for believing you would feel the same for him than he does for you."

Boom that had hit home. Beckett didn't longer know what she should think. He wasn't tiered of waiting he thought he had waited for something that wasn't there what he hope was there but wasn't. God damn hell how could she be that foolish? How could she believe that she would have all the time in the world till he came to that conclusion? "But I love him" she blurted out blindly without think about it for a second as Alexis arised from the chair.

This confession made her sit back. "Oh really?" she asked surprised but also very sarcastical.

"Yeah" confirmed Beckett. She knew that there was no return anymore. Her feelings for her partner were out by now outside of the office of her therapist. "I love him more than any other person in the world."

"Then why you lied to him about what ever it was?" asked Alexis back very curious.

"I lied to him about not remembering the shooting and with that his confession of loving me in the moment when I went unconscious."

"What?" screamed Alexis and all eyes were on them again.

"Shh. I just wasn't ready to deal with it back then." explained Beckett herself.

"That was eleven damned months ago!" Alexis couldn't longer calm herself down.

"I were and still am a mess and your father deserves more than that. I desperately want to be that person he deserves and for that I'm in therapy since eight months. He found out about my secret just when I lost control in interrogation and confessed to remember everything to a suspect while he were watching without me knowing. Just the day before I made my mind up about telling him everything." said Beckett and was near the tears.

Alexis was watching her closely. She saw the strong detective only one time weak before and that was on Montgomery's funeral where she was shot, and now this strong woman was near crying because her father was pulling away from her. That made her wonder. Did Beckett really loved her dad? To get an answer she had to ask a question: "Do you really love him?"

"Yeah I do. I … three days ago when he came to the crime scene with his new girlfriend I just … just had gotten the nuts to come clean with him about everything and all of that was shattered in that certain moment." Beckett tried desperately to fight back her tears but she wasn't really successful. She never cried in the bullpen before, at least not in front of so many officers, just in front of Lanie as Castle had walked away with Gina these two years ago.

"Do you still love him?" asked Alexis quietly and laid a hand on the arms of the detective next to her.

"Yes I do."

"Then why don't you just tell him?"

"'Cause I don't know what to say to him." confessed Beckett. "Instead I wrote this letter." She grab the letter and showed it Alexis.

Alexis herself was fighting a big fight inside of her. Her father and Detective Beckett seemed to love each other very badly and she didn't know on which side she should stand. Sure he was her father but in the end there would be two people with a broken heart if she would support him on his decision of moving on without talking to Beckett. And she knew there was one thing that would show her if Beckett really loved her father.

"He kept a secret by himself, too." blurted she out and shocked Beckett with that.

"What?" Now Beckett were the one who became louder.

"He's investigating on your mother's case since you got shot on his own and he told nobody besides Gram that he had contact to a man who had information to bring the man behind all of that down and who was blackmailing that guy." said Alexis with a cold voice.

Beckett's face was full of disbelieve. No he would never do that. "Why?" she stammered.

"Because he loves you Detective."

"No why he didn't tell me?"

Alexis gulped hard. "I only know what he told Gram and I overheard. He sought that you would immediately jump back into your mother's case and would kill yourself with that, rather he would have died by himself." explained Alexis slowly.

Beckett tried to order her thoughts. Castle lied to her to, no scratch that, he kept a secret to keep her save because of his love for her. That was kinda cute. But still it was her life and not his decision. She felt to become angry and looked down at the letter in her hand. She began to think about everything what she had written. Yes she may was angry but that didn't changed that she loved him.

"You are not angry?" asked Alexis curious.

"Oh I'm", answered Beckett, "But I still love him. In some way I think it's kinda sweet that he would do something that stupid. Yet on the other hand I'm incredible mad at him for doing something so completely stupid as risking his own life while he doesn't have to."

Alexis smiled. In some way she felt pleased with herself. She was never a fan of this relationship as soon as her dad began to risk his life for Beckett on a more regularly basis. "So why don't you tell him? He is planning on leaving the precinct for working with another detective."

Beckett was shocked and shallowed. She had hoped that this time he wouldn't just ran away like he did two years ago. "When? Why? How? Who?" she just couldn't wrap her mind around the thought of losing Castle not only to another woman but also to another detective.

"I don't know. Till now he doesn't know how to sell the mayor the idea of shadowing another detective than you."

Beckett's tears came back. No she would not cry in the bullpen, she wouldn't. Instead she jump up and grabbed her coat. "I'm going to visit somebody, could you please give this to your father?" she asked and gave Alexis the letter. The young girl nodded and went straight to the elevator to leave the precinct. Beckett grabbed her phone and called her therapist to make a date for a new session.

**Reviews please.**


	2. Head Hunters  Part 1

**Here is the second chapter. First of four parts about Head Hunter. Slaughter is my NYPD version of Gibbs, I don't like it that many people are already not liking him and prejuding him by the spoiler that he will not following the rules of police work like Beckett does and will be a little bit darker and dirtier as the cops at the 12th. Enjoy**

It have been a week since the last time when Castle and Beckett had talked to each other. Beckett had taken a few of her sick days to visit her father in northern New York. She tried to handle all these things that she had found out thanks to Alexis regarding to Castle. And he hadn't read her letter till now, because Martha had taken it away from Alexis. She didn't dared to destroy the letter like she originally planed instead she read the letter and decided to keep it till Castle was ready in her eyes. Alexis protested and told her Grandmother everything about her chat with Beckett. But in the end they agreed on not telling Castle since he wasn't ready in their eyes till then.

Now Beckett had called him again and ordered him to a new crime scene. There Beckett tried desperately to flirt with him but he behaved more distant than ever before, not only to her also towards the rest of the team. After returning to the precinct and a few failed attempts of Beckett to get Castle into a conversation about their mistakes, Gates' called them into her office.

"I want to introduce to you Lieutenant Mark Slaughter of the Bureau of Organized Crime. Against my will and the one of the Chief of Detectives decided the Chief of Department to turn the case over to his Bureau." said Gates with a very cold tone in her voice.

Beckett and Castle were both shocked. "What?" It was the first time since way over a month that they both said something in synch and that made them both look into the eyes of eyes other directly for the first time in a long time either.

"You heard right Detective", said the Lieutenant who seemed only to be a little bit older than Castle, "the victim was under surveillance of us and cos of that the case goes to us."

Beckett tried to protest but that didn't worked out. Castle sneaked out of the office and called Bob, the mayor. A little bit later Slaughter received a call from his boss, the Chief of Organized Crime Bureau, called him to inform him that Castle was going to follow him on the ongoing case. Slaughter wasn't pleased about that. The only one even less pleased were Beckett: her greatest fear since the talk with Alexis had ticked in, Castle leaving her forever. Before she could say something both, Castle and Slaughter had disappeared. Castle didn't even said goodbye to her only to Ryan and Esposito. That made her heart break. Without asking for permission she ran out of the precinct with only one destination: the office of her therapist Dr. Bruke.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Castle was brought to the Police Plaza One, the headquarter of the NYPD. Slaughter's team, a special investigation division inside the gangs unit under the control of the Bureau Chief of Organized Crime, had their office in the bullpen on the 4th story. On their way up Slaughter stopped the elevator. "While you will follow me around you will listen to everything I say and following my orders." Castle accepted these rules and Slaughter let the elevator move upwards.<p>

The forth story was very gray with a hint of yellow or orange, Castle wasn't really sure what it was. Slaughter conducted him to the desks on the other side of the room, next to the stairway to the fifth floor with the office of the Chief of the Organized Crime Bureau and the Office of Intelligence Affairs.

Slaughter assigned Castle a chair a little bit offside the rest of the team yet with his own desk and computer. Then he introduced the writer to his team: "Sergeant Stan Moriarty, third youngest detective in the history of NYPD and the detectives Pam Mayers and Eric Lehman." The four greeted each other.

"Good, after we're done with that I'd prefer you to begin working." was everything Slaughter said and immediately his whole team was back at their desks and looking at their computer screens. Slaughter disappeared after that upstairs; Castle wanted to follow him however Slaughter forbade it.

Moriarty looked insecure to the stairway before turning back to Castle who was still standing in the middle of their part of the bullpen. "So why are you here?" he asked curiously.

"Because I wanted to be on the case till the end."

"Oh really. Then I'll tell you something about Slaughter. He won't will let you be on the case till the end. You'll sit around here at your desk, watching us working listing to what we're saying, with no right to interfere. You won't will be present when a witness or a suspect is questioned or when the offender is arrested. Do you want to know why? Cos Slaughter doesn't work with amateurs and as a civilian you are an amateur." Moriarty had a boyish grin on his face. Detective Mayers rolled her eyes in disbelieve and Lehman, who was black by the way, began to breath hard.

"Don't worry", he said, "Moriarty is doing that with every new one even if he is part of this squad since only one year."

Moriarty laughed. "You know as good as I do that Slaughter will ban him as good as he can from this case."

Castle was musing for a short moment before he had an idea: "Don't you two have some work to do or do you think it won't will bother your boss when he comes back and no work is done?" Faster than he could blink both cops looked back at their screens and were tipping on their keyboards. Castle watched this scenario with a great amusement and sat down on his new chair. He hacked himself with Beckett's password into the NYPD system and began to check the name of the victim.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Slaughter stood in the office of his chief. "Classified?" he asked surprised as he received the police file of Castle.<p>

"It's the complete file. There are a few information inside that only the Office of Intelligence Affairs knows about. It was very complicated to get it for you Lieutenant." explained the Chief.

Slaughter opened the file and began to read. "He was suited for steeling a police horse and riding it naked in the Central Park?" he asked unbelieving. The Chief only nodded. Slaughter continued to read. "He follow a CIA agent around for a whole year?"

"That is one of these top secret information about him, Lieutenant."

Stunned read Slaughter the rest of the file. After he finished that he returned the file to his boss. "Thanks, sir." was everything he said before turning around and leaving the office.

While he were already in the door case the Chief called after him. "Will you let him help on the case?"

Slaughter stopped shortly in the door case but as soon the question of his superior was out, he continued to walk away. "Why not. He's a better reputation than my whole team." And with this words he disappeared through the door of the anteroom.

He went directly back to his office and as soon he left the stairway his whole team jumped up. "Mr Castle will help us on this case. What do you got?"

After they shared a few confused looks the team began to talk. "The name of our suspect is Peter Hamilton. Member of the gang LI-05, a Latino gang from Brooklyn." said Moriarty.

"He was under surveillance of our colleagues in gang unit from there since a few months." continued Mayers.

"And was arrested already triply for drug dealing the last time two years ago, he sat for one and a half year yet he was sentenced for two and a half. The reason is classified." ended Lehman.

"Is that all?" The reaction to that question of Slaughter were a messy mumble between the three detectives.

Castle grinned like a fool. "I may have gotten the motive." he said after a short amount of time. The four cops turned around to him. "I know the password of Detective Beckett. We both gotten a very high security level after a case last year, so I could check out the complete file of Hamilton and found that; he was an informant for the narcotics. Maybe somebody inside the gang found out and killed him for his betrayal."

The detectives starred at him like he was a very rare circus attraction. And Slaughter smiled very pleased. "Good work Mr Castle. You'll come with me." Slaughter grabbed his gun and they were on their way to the elevator like the wind.

"What are we gonna do, boss?" cried Moriarty out loud while the other two where already in the elevator.

"You're gonna checkin' out his old court files and contacts in the gang, Moriarty." answered Slaughter and his answer matched perfectly with the speed in which the doors of the elevator closed, what impressed Castle. In his mind he already played with the idea of began to shadow Slaughter from now on instead of Beckett. "No you won't" said Slaughter out of nothing.

Castle was completely taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"You'll only following me around on this actual case no one more, okay?", he turned towards Castle, "Why are you even considering leaving the 12th after four years?" he asked very seriously.

Castle scanned Slaughter. He knew that he could read people like open books when he wanted but this guy was a complete secret to him, even more than Beckett ever were. He swallowed hard. "That's a long story." He said as they were leaving the elevator.

"We'll have a long car ride to Brooklyn." was everything that Slaughter said to this and led Castle to the parking slot of the PP1.

* * *

><p>Castle and Slaughter were since five minutes on the street when Castle began to talk: "It was two years ago when I realized that I had more feelings in common for Kate, Detective Beckett than just friendship."<p>

"You'd fallen in love with her." detected Slaughter out.

"Yeah but I needed Kate to began to date another cop to admit this to myself."

"Have you confronted her."

"God damn no."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was unsure of myself. At first I sought it was just jealousy about becoming the third wheel till I saw them kiss. After that I tried to test how strong their relationship were trough asking her out for a weekend in the Hamptons." explained Castle.

"And what was her reaction?"

"She lied to me about she'd had work to do, while she instead planned to go away with this Demming for the weekend."

"What have you done after finding out that she lied?"

"Told her I was going away for the summer, making a break. Somehow I think it affected her more than she would ever admit. That night I had a talk with my second ex-wife and we both decided to try it again." In a second Castle felt a slap on his back head.

"Rule 49: Never reunited with your ex." was his whole comment.

Castle swallowed again. In some way it was good to talk to someone about this who didn't know either of them him or Beckett. "Okay so, three months later I came back to New York. At first I avoided Beckett, cos I couldn't stand seeing her happy with another guy till we met at a crime scene, the victim was a friend of mine."

"Did you investigate on that case?"

"Yeah?" And Castle felt again a slap on his head.

"Rule 12: Never get personally on a case."

"How many rules do you have?"

"Fifty. Continue."

"Okay. We reunited and I found out that she broke up with Demming long ago. After thinking about it, it was maybe the same day I went to the Hamptons maybe even before my goodbye party. She wanted to say to me something but Gina appeared in that moment and she tucked it of." He breathed. "So after we began to work together again I had to discover that she had a new boyfriend a doctor, a cardiac surgeon to be certain, who seemed to be Mr Perfect. Or at least in the beginning late it came out that they both had barley time for each thanks to their jobs. So and at the beginning of last year I had to admit that Beckett was the love of my life and that there would never be somebody else. I broke of with Gina and try to win Beckett for my while she was in her relationship with Josh. When he wanted to go to Africa for Doctors Without Boarders the relationship seemed to break and I hoped for my chance but nothing happened, he stayed and they remained a couple."

"Are they now an engaged or what?" Slaughter began to regret to have asked Castle his original question.

"No they broke up last summer. At the end of may Beckett was shot at the funeral of Captain Montgomery who died just a few days before in order to protect Beckett from a contract killer. When she was shot I confessed her my feelings out of the fear to never see her again. When she woke up and I went to the hospital I was ready to confess them again, that courage was shattered when I saw Josh at her side and she telling me that she didn't remember one thing from the shooting. She asked for some time for herself, which was in the end three whole months."

"Wow that's a long time." commented Slaughter sarcastical.

Castle nodded. "She told me she broke up with Josh and that she still wouldn't remember anything. So now a few weeks ago there was this bombing at the Wall Street", Slaughter nodded, "and we investigated in that case. I just had made my mind up to tell her my feelings again when I overheard her confessing to a suspect that she remembers in fact every single second of her shooting." Castle squeezed his fists and stopped talking.

Slaughter could see that he was very angry and hurt about that. "That must have been hurting."

"Yeah."

"What did she say about it?"

"I didn't told her that I overheard her." admitted Castle.

"Why?"

"Why I should? It's obvious why she didn't tell me: She doesn't feel the same way and was either embarrassed cos of this fact or she cared too much to break my heart or both."

And for the third time in a few minutes Slaughter smacked Castle on his back head. "Rule 3: Never take anything for granted. Check it. You should have ask her about the reason. What have you done instead?"

"I tried to move on", interrupted Castle the Lieutenant without recognizing it, "I tried to be the playboy I was before of Beckett returning to the man I used to be but I failed. I changed to much and now, now I try to stay with the police but get away from Beckett."

"You were married twice?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I was married triply and do you want to know why all of my marriages failed?" Slaughter didn't even waited for answer: "I failed to communicate, screw on it how often I promised myself to change that aspect I just didn't. And after what you just told me it seems to me that you may have done the same mistake in your to previous marriages."

Castle shock his head. "No, especially with Gina I talked very open about my problems inside of the relationship what led to may arguments which led finally to our divorce. And in the first marriage it was more the fact that Meredith wasn't ready to be a mother and run away from that and left me and our daughter behind."

"So you confronted these two about your problems with them and your issues about them, why not with Beckett?"

Castle remained silent for a longer while. "I don't know, I think mostly because non of my ex-wives could ever broke my heart that easily as Beckett."

Slaughter just nodded. "Shell I tell you why I think you lied? Cos you are coward. Like you just said Beckett has a great power over you and it would hurt you even more when she would confirm your fears about her not returning your feelings. So you prefer to live with your already hard enough assumption and try to move on. Is this a sickness under writers cos I know another one who prefers to be let in the dark and live in the fantasy when the reality isn't all rosy."

Castle remained silent till they gotten to their destination.

**Thoughts?**


	3. Head Hunters Part 2

**So here's the third chapter. I hope there are not too much gramma mistakes. Enjoy**

He was pulled out of his thoughts by two detectives who were just entering the room. "Detectives Miller and Wilson. You wanted to talk to us Lieutenant?" introduced the older one, Miller, both of them to Castle and Slaughter.

"Yeah" Slaughter showed them with a hand gesture to sit down, what they did. "We have found a gang member from the LI-05 dead in Manhattan, his name is Peter Hamilton." The two detectives swallowed hard. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, sir. Why do you wanted to speak with us about this case?" asked Wilson unsure.

"Most properly cos he was your mole inside the gang for what he had gotten out of jail earlier than he should have." answered Slaughter and starred into the eyes of the two detectives.

"This information is classified!" protested Wilson, "You can't now that."

Miller tried to claim his partner. "We are not allowed to talk with people who have a lower clearance than classified." and looked at Castle.

"That's your clearance, right?" asked Slaughter. The two detectives confirmed that. "We both have an higher clearance than this. So please answer our questions." Slaughter may have said please but the way he said what he said it was unmistakable that it was an order to tell them everything. And their two opponents seemed to have recognized that too. "When you two had the last contact with Hamilton?"

"Three days ago he informed us about a big drug deal in the Bronx." answered Miller.

"What have you done with that info?"

"We made up a trap and caught several members of LI-05 and the gang of Vulcan Simmons just yesterday. All in all a very successful stake." answered Wilson.

"Did he said something about being felt followed or that he sought somebody found out about his assignment for you?" Both detectives shook their heads. "And anytime before?" They negated this too. "When something comes to your mind call me." Slaughter gave them his card and signed Castle that they would leave.

* * *

><p>"What do you think?" Castle asked him when they gotten out of the building. "Are they telling us the truth?"<p>

Slaughter shrugged with his shoulders. "What's your gut tellin' you?" Castle starred at him. "You're since four years with the police you should have gotten some kind of instinct for something like that."

Castle gotten in the car and began to think. "They are telling the truth."

Slaughter nodded. "I agree. Still believing that Hamilton's job as mole killed him?" Castle nodded. "Yeah me too."

"But when the two narcotics haven't sold him down the river than who was it?" asked Castle.

"Someone inside the police who is classified high enough to know what Hamilton was doing." commented Slaughter and kicked the gas pedal so tough that they broke the speeding limit in no time. "Rule 25: There no speeding limit while you're on duty."

Castle tried to catch his breath and made his mind up to continue the conversation. "Okay the information was classified. What is the highest clearance in the NYPD?"

"Highly Top Secret."

Castle swallowed. "That is the second highest clearance of all in the USA!"

"Yeah. The higher ups of Intelligence Affairs have it as well as the Chief of Department." explained Slaughter.

"What is with the Commissioner?" wondered Castle himself out loud.

"Like me and the most Special Agents of any civil state agency he just have the clearance Secret."

"Wow and I sought he had an higher one especially cos I and Beckett already have Confidential." said Castle.

Slaughter grinned. "That's very high for a Detective and a civilian. A normal Detective only have the clearance Unclassified."

"So it should be easy for us to find out who traded Hamilton or not?" asked Castle a little bit unsure of himself.

Slaughter shook his head. "We have 36,000 officers in the department. Round about ten percent has at least the clearance classified and that are 3,600 officers we still have to check." He pulled out his phone and called Moriarty to ask him for the address of Hamilton and ordered him to check out the files of everyone inside the Bureau of Organized Crimes with the clearance Classified. After getting the address Slaughter changed the route towards Harlem.

On their way Castle began to think again about Slaughter's criticism on his behavior towards Beckett. Was he maybe wrong with his quick assumption that she doesn't love him back? All the tries to catch his eye today came to his mind all the times she tried to catch a moment alone with him the last few weeks. And than something else came back into his mind: the case were Beckett and he were kidnapped and trapped in a basement with no visible way out. "You're right do you know?"

"Mostly yeah but I haven't any idea what you're talkin' about right now." replayed Slaughter.

"About your assumption that all writers are cowards. There were once a case where Beckett and I were kidnapped by slave traders and trapped into a basement with no visible way out. At first everything was dark around us and as soon Beckett switched the light on I wished she hadn't. I said something like 'I would prefer to stay in the dark with my fantasies than standing in the light to face cruel reality.'."

Slaughter shook his head. "When I would have rule for that I would slap you again but so I'll only say you: let yourself grow some balls."

"For what?"

"At first: When you're really planning to continue playing cop than you'll need them. Secondly: To ask Beckett for the real reason behind her lie. I only saw your interaction for a few minutes but it's obvious that she tried to catch your attention."

"I don't think you got it: she doesn't love me." protested Castle and gotten a very hard slap on the back of his head.

"Have you already forgotten rule three, or what?" Castle shook his head.

It was silent for a short time. "So your gut is basically telling you that Beckett is hurt by me pulling away? We were friends what when she's only hurt cos this friendship had ended?"

Slaughter smacked Castle again. "Rule 32: Never make excuses."

"Why are you even that interested in my love life?" Castle wanted to guide this conversation into another direction.

"Cos I saw the hurt in your eyes when you told me about the reason why you want to leave the 12th and I also saw the hurt and fear in the eyes of Beckett when she heard that you'd following me for this case. Fear of losing you Castle."

"So that is the reason why you're pushing me back to her not that it bothers you to work together with a civilian?"

"I don't like to work together with civilians that's right but considerin' what you've already done in order of followin' around Detective Beckett I don't mind it that much as I'd in any other case. So that has nothing to do with pushin' you to break rule 14."

"Rule 14?"

"Never date a co-worker."

"And why are you pushing me to break that rule."

"I know when I see someone heart broken and today I saw two, you and Beckett. From what you told me she is the love of your life, isn't she?" Castle nodded. "Then there's no reason to follow that rule."

Slaughter concentrated himself completely on the street again and both remained silent. Castle knew that Slaughter was right. He had been acting like a coward just to assume something and like his it was the worst case to assume, by not asking Beckett out about her lie. But what could he do by now? For her he was back at his playboy persona even if he had already dropped that masquerade again because he couldn't live like that anymore. Had she realized that he had dropped it already again? Would she forgive him for being a jerk for nearly a month? And even more important, could he forgive her for lying to him for several months? Should he just went to her apartment tell her he's sorry and ask for forgiveness? Should he wait till the end of this case? Or should he wait till she was coming to him?

"I have three more rules that could make it easier for you to make a decision." said Slaughter out of nothing, again like he would read Castle's thoughts. "Rule 1: Never screw over your partner, what Beckett did, it's okay to be angry at her but you have to confront her. Rule 8: Never say you're sorry that's a sign of weakness, yet the rule doesn't really work among friends and family. Rule 20: Always trust your gut."

Castle was soaking these advices in and made the decision to send a coffee tomorrow to the 12th precinct. Hopefully Beckett would get his intention.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later the car stopped in Spanish Harlem in front of a apartment-building. "Hamilton lived in the second story." said Slaughter and the two entered the building.<p>

When they gotten to the front door of Hamilton's apartment they heard a scream out of it and Slaughter broke the door open, which was very easy because it wasn't locked up. He pulled out his gun and screamed "NYPD. Who's there?"

The voice of a woman shouted from the next room for help and the two ran into that. There lay a woman on the floor holding her head and Castle stormed immediately towards her to help her up while Slaughter was running to the window trough which the other person, the one who attacked the woman, was just fleeing. Slaughter followed him down the fire escape. Castle helped the older woman to sit down on a armchair in the living room and gave her some water.

"Thank you young man." She was breathing heavily.

"I'm Rick Castle, NYPD consultant and who are you?"

"I'm Irene Hamilton. My son lives here and I wanted to visit him but he wasn't there instead I met his father" she was gesturing to he window.

"Your husband attacked you?" asked Castle in disbelieve.

Irene was shaking her head. "Oh no. Dave is my ex-husband we divorced already over a decade ago. The doctors diagnosed that he had neuronal sociopathy. What means"

"That he is barely capable to feel any kind of emotions." finished Castle the sentence. He was stunned. He always wanted to meet a real sociopath and not a psychological one but a physical one. "Do you know what he was doing here?"

Irene shook her head. "The two had barely contact on the wish of Peter, he's the only person in the world Dave ever cared about besides himself."

Castle discussed with himself in his head if he should tell Irene that her son was dead or if he should wait till Slaughter came back. Then he remembered the words of the Lieutenant _let yourself grow some balls_. "Irene I have to say something to you." He looked down. He had never done that alone before it was harder than he thought. "We found your son this morning in the Lower East Side, shot in the chest."

Irene began to cry and to say "no that can't be" and was leaning herself now against Castle's shoulder to cry on it. A little bit later Slaughter came back.

"I've nearly gotten that bastard but then such a shity cab driver came in my way." he railed while coming back into the apartment.

Irene had claimed down a little bit and looked at him strangely. "That's Lieutenant Slaughter, the man who's leading the investigation regarding the murder of your son." introduced him Castle.

Irene told Slaughter the same what she told Rick, that Dave was very dangerous and a sociopath and that he would properly kill the man responsible for the murder of his only son. Slaughter called the CSU and soon the apartment was full of forensics. "We'll go, they're gonna inform us when they found something."

* * *

><p>They both left the apartment were in only ten minutes back at Police Plaza. Back up at the bullpen the other three detectives were working hardly. "Ey boss, I've checked out how many cops in our bureau have an high enough clearance to get to the information about Hamilton. We have 185 officers who had access to the information including everyone in this team." Slaughter nodded. "And there we have the problem boss. We all have at least the level Classified, I even have Restricted, but nobody of us was able to get the complete file about Hamilton."<p>

"So the case must have an higher clearance than the narcotics wanted to admit." reasoned Castle.

Slaughter nodded. "The case was properly raised up to Confidential right after their last contact. Castle, Moriarty you two try to find out why. Mayers you'll check on a man with the name Dave Hamilton and give out a search warrant for him. Lehman I want you to find everything about LI-05." ordered Slaughter while he was going to the elevator.

"Where is he going?" asked Castle surprised.

"He's getting himself a cup of coffee." answered Moriarty and went directly to his desk. "And we should began to work."

**Thoughts?**


	4. Head Hunters Part 3

**I just want to end this part of the story as fast as I can, so there is already chapter number 4. For everyone who is complaining about my gramma: I'll work it all over again after the story is finished. I don't know if I'll do it in this version or post it again. Enjoy**

A little bit later Slaughter walked into the lab of the Forensic Division inside of the Police Plaza. "Manda?" he asked out loud.

A young woman with black hair answered. "Here Mark!" She waved to him from the other side of the room, where she stood. "How do you make that that you always come down when I just got somethin' without me callin' you?"

"Instincts." Slaughter shrugged with his shoulders and gave Amanda Jones, the lab technician, a cup of coffee while he was drinking one of his own. "What do you got?"

Amanda was holding up a piece of paper. "The results for the bullet. It was a Sig Sauer but not in our register for criminals."

"Check out police."

"See maybe is that the reason why you always know when I'm done, we've a mental connection. I already checkin' this possibility." Amanda smiled widely.

"Good work." commented Slaughter and kissed Amanda on her forehead. He wanted to go but Amanda stopped him. "Wait I have more!"

Slaughter turned around and came back. "There were fingerprints in the apartment of the victim and I've gotten a match on 'em but somebody is blockin' the file appendent to the prints." explained Amanda.

"Properly the ones of Hamilton himself. He used to be our mole in LI-05." assumed Slaughter.

Amanda shook her head. "Definitely not, I compered the prints with the ones Bill send me. From whoever they're it's not our victim."

"What do you need?"

"Your password."

Slaughter shaved Amanda at side and tipped his password in. The computer opened the file of Dave Hamilton. Both were very stunned. "I assume that isn't good, isn't it?"

"Completely not." said Slaughter and pulled out his phone. "Moriarty we have problem." he said.

"Oh yeah boss I know." answered Moriarty, who was standing outside of the elevator looking in the same where a unconscious Castle lay.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later Castle awoke sitting in a chair near the elevator. An older man was vetting his wound on his temple. "Ah he's awake."<p>

Slaughter, Moriarty and Lehman were watching him. "How do you feel?" asked Slaughter.

"Like somebody knocked my head against a wall of metal." Castle answered and rubbed his forehead.

"Would you please look at me?" asked the older man and Castle did what was asked. The old man gotten out a little torch and was targeting Castle's eyes with it. "Can you stand up?" Castle nodded and stood up but as he did so he felt a little bit dizzy and touched his forehead. "Are you feeling dizzy?"

"Actually yeah."

"I assume you have a light concussion. You should go home and sleep a bit."

"Ehm sure, Mr?" Castle wasn't really a fan of leaving a case before it was closed.

"Dr. William Bauer, Chief Medical Examiner, but I'm Bill for my colleagues. By the way your daughter would be a very good ME some day." Castle nodded a little bit confused and shook the hand of the doctor.

"He isn't going anywhere as long I don't know what the hell happened in the elevator." protested Slaughter and fixed his looks on both of them.

"Sure you're the boss but I as a doctor have to demand on sending him home immediately after the questioning." countered Bill.

"Sure will do that Billy." Slaughter's face lightened up and as Bill disappeared the two shook friendly hands. Then his looks were back at Castle. "So what happened?"

Castle sat down again and tried to remember. "We sat in the bullpen. I sat together with Moriarty and we were just going through the files when I recognized that Mayers behaved a little bit odd and was starring around as to make sure that nobody was watching her. Then she gotten a call on her cell, which she took in no time. At the call she wrote something down and left with saying something personal had occurred. She was leaving and I sought that was even more odd while we were on a important case, so I followed her in the elevator. I tried to asked her out about it and then she smashed my head against the wall and I became unconscious." he reported slowly.

Slaughter nodded. "Okay, you go home, Moriarty I want a search warrant for Mayers and add to the one for Dave Hamilton that he's a trained killer."

"He's what?" asked Moriarty surprised.

"The coats from Langley apparently sought that sociopaths are the perfect spies." was the whole explanation.

Castle would have loved it to stay but he knew that he couldn't, Slaughter wouldn't even let him so he left and appointed a cab for him to the Police Plaza in order to drive home. Martha already awaited him. When she saw the big patch at his temple she nearly screamed. "Oh my god, Richard! How had that happened!"

Castle told her the whole story about Slaughter, his work with his team, the case and what Mayers did. "Oh honey, when I said to move on and away from Beckett I didn't meant to go to such a dangerous squad."

Castle nearly laughed. That was his mother always carrying but also making a show out of everything. "I hadn't know what was coming and by the way I don't longer think it would be the best to move on."

Martha were puzzled. She never believed to hear this word from her son in regard to Beckett again. "And why?"

"There were a few things that Slaughter said that make me think."

"About what?" Martha understood nothing in that moment.

"I should ask Beckett out about the truth before making the decision of finally moving on." Castle couldn't longer stop himself to smile.

"And how are you planning to do that?" asked Martha curious.

Castle shrugged with his shoulders. "Honestly I have no idea. At first I definitely have to get back into her good angle. After my behavior in the last few weeks she won't be very pleased with me. But for now I'll go sleeping." And with that words Castle disappeared in his bedroom.

Martha were watching her son leaving. She asked herself if she shell give him the letter from Beckett. But he wasn't ready by now. If she would show it to him he would immediately ran to Beckett, begging for forgiveness and do a few stupid things that normally only little boys would do when they are the first time in love. And so she kept the letter and with that a secret on her own.

* * *

><p>The next morning was Beckett entering the precinct more decent clothed than the last four years. She wore a wide pantsuit, a wider button down as normal, her hair was tucked up as if she would only care that it wasn't too long for work but would screw on how it would look like and her make up was nearly completely missing. Only at her eyes she wore some to cover the tears from the day before. After the session with the shrink she decided to move on too, after getting used to be available again. She had no idea that this plan would going to crush down in a second. When she good to her desk she discovered a cup of coffee on it from the coffee shop were Castle always has gotten their coffees. At first she thought it could be from Castle but she banned this thought out of her mind as fast as it occurred. She lifted it and took a sip. It was perfect. She smiled shortly wondering about who bought it for her. Then she discovered a little note under the cup. She read it an her smile became wider. 'I'm sorry. Rick'. This two simple things, a coffee and a note brought her the hope back she just had lost yesterday. Maybe there were still a chance for them, she thought. Her whole day had just become brighter and as a sign for that she pulled her hair out of the ugly bun and let it fall down.<p>

* * *

><p>Castle had sat himself an alarm for the morning so he could be up early enough to send Beckett her coffee. Now he was sitting in front of his laptop and was writing. For the first time in weeks he was capable to think clearly enough to think about something different than Beckett. His fingers flew over the keyboard as his cell rang. He hoped for Beckett when he got it. "Castle" he said with a charming voice.<p>

"I had hoped you weren't a second Moriarty." said Slaughter gruffly.

Castle swallowed. "Oh Lieutenant, I sought you would be something different." He could sense that the Lieutenant was smiling about that fact.

"How are you?"

"Good, why?"

"Just wanted to ask. We have found out that Dave Hamilton set out a great amount of bounty for the one who kills the murderer of his son." He informed Castle.

"Doesn't sound good."

"Not at all. I know that you are a fast reader. Would you mind in helping us in looking through a few files?"

Castle knew that question. At the bombing case Gates had asked him the same question but for them weird reason he liked Slaughter much more even when was just as gruff as Gates maybe even more. But that resulted in not minding it doing the dirty work for him. "Sure why not."

* * *

><p>A half hour later Castle stood again in the bullpen of Slaughter's squad. Moriarty was standing in front of their white board. "When are we getting these cool screens that the undercover squad got?" he asked causally but Slaughter shot him only an angry look that made Moriarty swallow very hard. "Okay we know that Peter Hamilton was a drug dealer who worked as a mole for the narcotic's division in the gang LI-05. His father is an ex-CIA without any kind of emotions and who wants revenge. That's the reason why he set out a bounty of 28,000$ for the murderer of his son, which is for many people a nice asset to their property. And then we've there Pamela Mayers our ex-colleague and mole of LI-05 inside of the NYPD and how we now thanks to Amanda the murderer of Peter." recited Moriarty.<p>

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Castle interested.

"You'll go through all electronic data and try to find out where she is." answered Slaughter.

"And will you do, boss?" asked Lehman curiously.

"I'll make a visit." was his mysterious answer and with that Slaughter left his team behind to go to the place where he suspected that Mayers would appear first.

**Thoughts?**


	5. Head Hunters Part 4

**The story of "Head Hunters" is ending in this chapter, maybe a little bit to fast but I didn't longer know how to continue the story. The end has some kind of happy end. Enjoy**

Two hours later: "Okay we've followed nearly every single trace we have by now. What will we do when this isn't going anywhere?" asked Castle out of nothing.

The two cops looked strangely at him. "Than we'll have to count on the boss' instinct, which is by the way never wrong." answered Moriarty and was looking back on his screen.

Castle instead began to think about those words. _His instinct is never wrong_. Slaughter had already reminded him of Gibbs before of this comment but now he felt like he was actually dreaming and landed in an episode of NCIS. Only to get reminded that this was real by shaking his head was caused slightly pain. He concentrated himself on the data again. "I think I found something." he cried. "A few days ago she spent several hours in Brooklyn while she lives in Queen. She brought several coffees in a coffee shop in the middle of the stomping ground of LI-05."

"I think we've just found a meetin' place of the gang." Moriarty assumed.

"I think one should call Slaughter." Lehman throw in.

Moriarty were in less than a second on his cell. "Boss we now know where Mayers and the members of the gang always met each other."

"Good send a squad." was the whole answer before Slaughter hung up.

Moriarty starred disbelieving on his phone. "Lehman inform the local precincts and send a SWAT team." he ordered. Lehman did what he was called for and grabbed his phone. Castle just watched the interaction and missed the 12th in some way.

"Was that everything he said?" he asked out of of curiosity.

"No. He didn't even wanted to know the address." Moriarty answered a little bit absentminded. Castle knew what Moriarty was thinking right now: Why did Slaughter didn't asked for the address. Did he already knew it?

* * *

><p>At the same time Slaughter sat in a nursing home in southern Manhattan. Mayers mother lived in this facility and he knew that Mayers would never flee without seeing her again. So he drove there and asked the desk clerk if she already was there, the answer was negative. Hence he sat in the lobby and drunk coffee in the hope that his instinct didn't betrayed him. And his instinct were right again: Mayers appeared. She was walking through the lobby without recognizing Slaughter sitting there. He stood up and followed her til she reached the elevator. "When I was you I'd go with me now." he said and pointed his gun at her. She tried to reach for her gun against Slaughter's warning, wherefore he shot at her gun in exactly the moment where her hand touched it. Mayers backed off and put her hands on the back. Slaughter arrested her and read her her rights.<p>

He drove her as fast as he could to the Police Plaza where the rest of the team was still waiting for news from the task force who busted the meeting place of the gang. Slaughter handed Mayers over to two officers in the bullpen with the order to bring her to the interrogation room, then he walked back to his team. "Already heard somethin' about the stake out?" he asked and took a sip from his coffee.

"Not till now." Moriarty answered and turned around to see his boss whereby he spotted Mayers at the other end of the room, in handcuffs and led by two officers. "Where did you find her?" he asked out loud and pointed at his ex-colleague.

Castle and Lehman turned around to see what Moriarty was meaning and spotted Mayers too. "In the nursing home of her mother." was the whole answer to that question. Slaughter placed his gun in his desk and run up the stairs to the office of the Chief.

"Isn't he going to interrogate her?" Castle asked surprised by the actions of the Lieutenant.

Moriarty grinned like a fool. "He's but at first he's goin' to let her fidget." Castle nodded slowly and decided to go to the observation room to watch Mayers fidgeting.

* * *

><p>At the same time Slaughter entered the video conference room of Intelligence Affairs where the Chief was sitting right now, waiting for a conference with the director of the DEA and a department manager of organized crime of the FBI. "Do you got them?" he asked as Slaughter sat down besides him.<p>

Slaughter shook his head. "No only Mayers, Hamilton's still out there." he reported.

"Where's Mayers now?"

"In the interrogation room, she's waitin' for her lawyer."

"Shouldn't take that long. The law department will properly send one for her."

"Maybe." Slaughter shrugged with his shoulders.

The door of the room opened and a young detective entered. "Lieutenant Slaughter, Sir, Sergeant Moriarty's waiting outside for you."

Slaughter stood up went directly to the door. "Good luck." wished him the Chief.

"Thanks, sir." Slaughter said and turned to the young detective. "And for you boy, never ever again call me sir." With this words, that left the detective very irritated, he left the room only to run into Moriarty in front of the room. "What do you have?"

"When our colleagues where ready to storm the coffee shop they heard several shots and found a massacre. Hamilton had killed nearly everybody else in the job besides himself." he reported while walking past Slaughter down the stairway.

"Where's Hamilton now?"

Moriarty didn't answered right away and sucked in his breath instead, what made Slaughter turn around and looked daggers at him what made Moriarty swallow very hard. "He fled when the officers entered the coffee shop. They've no idea where he's right now."

Angrily Slaughter turned around and ran down the stairs as fast as he could. When he reached the bullpen Lehman was walking directly towards them. "Hopefully you've somethin' useful."

"Mayers' lawyer is here and Amanda called; Mayers service gun was the murder weapon."

"Good." Slaughter went directly to the interrogation room and opened the door without knocking on it or asking if the lawyer and his client were ready with chatting about the case.

"Lieutenant Slaughter you'll never learn to respect the privately of an chat between lawyer and client?" the lawyer who was sitting next to Mayers asked sarcastical.

Slaughter grinned lightly. "Rule fifteen doesn't exists without a reason." he answered.

"Never, ever involve a lawyer." answered Moriarty the unasked question of Castle behind the glass in the observation room.

Slaughter sat down with the back to the glass and fixed Mayers with his glances. "Why?"

"Why what?" she asked smiling viciously.

"Why did you sold information to the LI-05?"

"You don't have to answer the question." commented her lawyer.

"Oh come on, she attacked a civilian cos he suspected her to be involved with this specific gang. She was very often at a meetin' place of this gang in Brooklyn while livin' in Queens. Peter Hamilton was killed with her gun. We already have enough evidence to turn her over to the DA I just wanted to give her the chance to confess her crimes and to stand in a better light through that, but when you don't want to." He shrugged with his shoulders and stood up.

"You can maybe throw me in prison but not the rest of us." said Mayers mysteriously with a very dangerous tone in her voices.

That comment made Slaughter, out whatever reason, smile as if he thought she just made a very funny joke. "Just answer me this question: How many members of your gang were regular goin' to his coffee?" Mayers remained silent. "Screw on it the most of them should be dead by now than the father of your victim had killed nearly everybody present at the shop." With this words, that left Mayers completely taken aback, he left the room. "Call DA's office, Moriarty. We'll bring her to Rikers Island."

* * *

><p>Castle left the Police Plaza after that and drove home. He was thinking about going to the precinct but Beckett hadn't called which was why he hadn't any idea what was going on there. Instead of driving to the Police Plaza he began to wright again. Two hours later he looked over the written text and was very satisfied with himself. He wrote today more than in whole last year. Gina and Paula would be pleased, he thought. He was turning on the television and were shocked: a shooting at the Police Plaza. He saw Moriarty and Slaughter. He grabbed his cell and called the later.<p>

"Who's there?" Slaughter snarled.

"It's Castle. I was just watching the news. What happened?"

"Dave Hamilton tried to kill Mayers as we bought her out of the buildin' to get her to the prisoner transport. I've killed him instead."

"Okay thanks." Castle said but Slaughter already hung up. He seemed pissed and Castle thought it was the best to let Slaughter alone. Instead he decided to visit the precinct but as he opened his door Beckett stood in front of it. "Detective what are you doing here?"

"Oh well. Two things: first I wanted to check if you were okay cos of the shooting in the news, second I wanted to say thank you for the coffee and I forgive you for behaving like a teenager."

"You could have called?"

"Yeah but I wanted to see you in person cos, well, I haven't saw the real Richard Castle for quiet a while now, only this stupid playboy my partner once pretended to be." They both smiled. Their normal banter were back and that made both of them happy. Now was everything back to normal, at least for the one outstanding. Beckett now knew about Castle's feelings and secret without his knowledge and he knew her secret what she knew but he didn't knew that she knew. That made everything more complicated than before. Or not?

To ease the tension between them Castle began to spoke: "Don't you want to come in?"

Beckett shook her head. "No, I don't have so much time. I just wanted to see how you're and say thank you. Oh yeah, tell you that Ryan and Esposito are missing you very much while Gates' very pleased with you not being there."

"I don't will make it that easy for her. As long you still will allow me to follow you." Castle said.

Beckett's eyes were very bright and shining. He was definitely back. "Sure I want you back as my partner why shouldn't I?"

His smile grow wider and it was the first smile he had on since nearly a month. "I behaved like a jackass."

"That you've done already before and I forgave you and that were at the beginning of our partnership before we were what ever we are." They both continued to star into each other eyes. Beckett heard from Alexis that Martha had confiscated the letter and not given to Castle since then so she didn't made an attempt to become to personal right now, but in this moment the tension rose very high and they were shortly before jumping each other bones. "I'll go now. See you tomorrow?" With this words Beckett saved them to do something really stupid.

"Sure Detective." Castle smiled and Beckett left, relieved that this worked out so well. Castle felt the same, relief. He couldn't believe how fast Beckett had forgiven him. Maybe Slaughter was really right, she loved him back. As a consequence of this realization he grabbed a CD with happy music and put it into the player. He wanted to celebrate.

* * *

><p>It was dark outside and Slaughter laid on his couch and read a book as it was knocking on the door. He had no idea who could be standing in front of his house that shortly before midnight as a reason of that he grabbed his gun and went to his door. As he opened the unlocked door he pointed his gun at Richard Castle. "My god Castle what are you doin' here?"<p>

"I wanted to ask you for a favor." he answered.

Slaughter remained silent, at first. "How did you found out where I live?"

"I could ask you the same question in regard to my cellphone number." Slaughter was shooting Castle an evil eye. "I used the telephone book."

"What's the favor?"

"I want to know whose number this is.", he gave Slaughter a little notice, "I tried to find out but all my friends at the 12th don't have a high enough clearance." he explained.

Slaughter nodded. "From where do you have the number?"

"When Beckett returned to the precinct last September a man contacted me and said that he had evidences to bring the man behind the conspiracy that killed her mother and Captain Montgomery and bought her into the hospital down, and that he was blackmailing this man with these evidences. The deal was that Beckett would stay alive as long she doesn't investigate in this case and the files are not going anywhere. When the dragon, how the criminal is calling himself, is trying anything to hurt Beckett the files come out. The dragon already tried to get me away from the precinct and with that from Beckett, cos he properly sought I was the reason why she wasn't longer pressing and he wanted her still dead, by putting the blame for a murder on the mayor." explained Castle.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks." Castle turned around and wanted to go away but Slaughter stopped him.

"Does she know?"

"What?"  
>"About this whole deal with the dragon, does Beckett know?" Castle shook his head. "Tell her, rule number 1." Castle nodded and went away while Slaughter was closing his front door.<p>

**Thoughts?**


	6. Undead Again

**Here is the chapter to "Undead Again". Fore everybody who loves angst, you don't will get that much in this chapter, mostly because I hate it.**

Castle came back the next morning and all the mornings afterward. Beckett apologized herself several times for single little things mostly for not asking what happened to his head when she was at the loft. Everybody besides Gates greeted Castle back and even Gates were pleased with Castle's return to his normal behavior. What set everyone at the odds now were Beckett's strange behavior to be so very nice towards Castle. It seemed that he could do whatever he wants and she would do nothing. But not only that she also phrased what she said very carefully screw on it if he was around or not. Even a blind would have noticed that she was treating like he was more fragile than a porcelain cup. The rumor occurred that they finally became a couple but disappeared fast because of the insecurity of Beckett's behavior in general. Had she a new boyfriend and wanted to hid it from everybody? This theory gotten also toasted when Beckett admitted to a man, who tried to woo her, that she was single however she wouldn't be available for anybody because she was already taken. Esposito started a pol that Lanie had closed a few weeks ago: When the two of them will become a couple?

The next great case of the team was about a group of students believing seeing walking stiffs. Castle was very excited about the idea of zombies walking around in New York City. The first time in a little bit over two weeks Beckett made a few remarks towards Castle that weren't all nice. After saying that the strong believe of him in the fact that the victim they found was killed by zombies, she shocked everybody with immediately saying sorry to Castle, was shocked him too.

* * *

><p>After the case was solved and it was proven that Beckett was right in regarded to the fact that nothing supernatural was involved in the case, Castle talked with his mother about Beckett's recent behavior.<p>

"At first I thought it was because I left and she realized that she had done something wrong and wanted to make up for that but now it seems to me that she is more than afraid of the idea of leaving me again." he said to her.

Martha were only listing to her son, yet another thing that made Castle wonder what was wrong. "I think it's time to show you something." she said finally and went upstairs to her room. Castle followed her curious with his eyes. When she returned a few minutes later she gave him a letter. "I wanted to save you from Beckett's influence even after Alexis, who delivered it after a chat with Beckett, told me that she had pure intentions. I made her promise that she wouldn't tell you anything about the letter and said I would destroy it but after a long argument which Alexis gave up, I decided that I should read the letter before destroying it. Afterward I decided to give it to you when you're ready to read it and I think that you're now."

Castle starred puzzled at her before opening the letter.

_Dear Rick,_

_you know I'm not good at this, to phrase my emotions I mean. But I realized in the last weeks since the bombing case that you are pulling away from me and I have no idea why. Lanie means that you're properly tiered of waiting for me and you gave up the hope for us, as a couple. At first I didn't wanted to hear something like that even after she gotten me to admitted for the first time outside of my therapy that I love you. Afterward I began to realize that she's maybe right and that you appeared with this blonde at the crime scene and met her for lunch while we were on a case supports that._

_I tried to talk to you about it but you always turned me down and said that you are alright. But I know you aren't. You are that man again that I met four years ago at the book party of Storm Falls, not the man I used to know in the last two years. I already wanted to tell you that when you appeared with the blonde for the first time but that crushed my courage. That I got attracted to Jack didn't helped either and I have to admitted that at the prom I got infected with the idea to drive to his hotel room and have sex with him. Something I'm completely not proud of. But one thing stopped me from doing this: you._

_Even while you're pulling away I just can't turn down my feelings for you and I hope it's the same on your side. I love you Rick and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier and I'm even more sorry to kept a secret of myself from you: I remember the shooting I remembered it the whole time but I was afraid. At first it was just too much to deal with and then I just feared that you only said it in the heat of the moment and maybe didn't meant it the way I hoped you meant it. To say the truth I broke up with Josh because of this hope. God damn, I would have broken up way earlier with him when you had told me about your feelings before. He was never more than a replacement for you Rick. When you left for the Hamptons with Gina it broke my heart because I just had broken up with Tom to go with you and give us a try._

_I'm sorry for not telling you all of this before, I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry for being such a coward. But you have to believe me that I love you and that I still want to give us a chance, for what I'm in therapy to clean up the mess I'm than you deserve only the best and I can only try to get as near as possible to be the woman you deserve when I don't longer have these fears, these commitment and communication issues. When I decided to go with you to the Hamptons I had known that from there on there would be no going back that I would be in the first all in relationship for me ever. You broke my heart and I fled in a one-foot-out-of-the-door relationship like after my mothers murder. All these issues of me were also the reason for me to give Josh a second chance by already knowing that you were the one I was looking for._

_I still want to give us a try Rick and will do anything for it. I would move with you to the other side of the country hell even to your property on the moon to make you happy. I love you and I hope you still love me._

_In love,_

_Kate._

While he read the letter Castle felt tears running down his checks. Several thoughts were running through his head. The main one was 'She loves me, she really loves me', the other ones were mostly of the nature of anger towards himself for asking Gina as a company to the Hamptons, for not standing his man while she were still together with Josh and telling her how he felt, for showing up with these blonde woman whose name he had already forgotten again at a crime scene, for not speaking with her. His mind was screaming 'You idiot could have had her already to two years ago, you two could be a happy couple by now, she could may live here in the loft, you may could be on the best way to get married!'. He felt like idiot, like a fool but this time not because she played but for being such a coward.

Martha rubbed the arm of her son. And even while he was crying he had a small smile on his lips. He was happy for the first time in way over a month he was truly happy he wasn't that happy in a very long time and only he knew that he had never been that happy before. But this moment was interrupted by Alexis who was storming through the front door into the loft, a letter in her hand.

"I'm in!" she screamed and Castle wished away his tears in attempt to look normal as if nothing great happened. "I'm in dad! You remember me writing a application to several colleges?" Castle nodded even if he had only pale memories of this because of his hurt about Beckett's betrayal. "Princeton accepted my application!"

That was a surprise with that Castle would have never anticipate. "Wow that is great!" was everything he was capable to say to this news. He couldn't grab his mind around it especially after reading Beckett's letter.

"I know I just don't know if I will accept it."

"What?" asked Martha and Castle at the same time.

"Well Lanie offered me the possibility to work as a ME Assistant next year parallel to my studies. And I like working with her and I also like to be part of something bigger. But I can only do that when I'm studying in New York." explained Alexis.

Castle smiled very pleased. He thought he was never prouder of his daughter. Not only was she accepted by one of the greatest colleges in the country, no, she was also thinking about doing a payed job because she wanted to make difference just like himself. "It's your decision but you'll have to make it."

"I know dad but I want to wait for the responses of the Columbia, Hudson and New York University."

"Yeah but we should still celebrate your acceptation." Martha protested.

"Right. I'll invite Paige. Could we also invite Lanie and maybe Beckett?" Alexis asked for the last one very careful. She may have seen the interaction between her father and Beckett in the last two weeks but she was still not sure if was everything back to okay between them.

"Why not." Castle commented and was smiling to his daughter who was smiling back it him. She may haven't really liked Beckett for putting her father in danger but after seeing her at the precinct with her nearly break down because Castle was leaving she changed her mind about a possible relationship between the two of them. Alexis was running up to her room in order to contact her best friend Paige while Castle called Beckett and informed her about Alexis acceptation at Princeton and about the party.

A little while later Lanie and Beckett arrived at the loft and Castle led both ladies to the kitchen where Martha, Alexis and Paige were sitting. Castle cooked and served the women and they made jokes about Castle being the only male in the round. They began to talk about Alexis plans for her future and Lanie was very pleased about the fact that Alexis was considering to accept the job as Assistant Medical Examiner. After the dinner was finished Alexis convinced the rest of the group to watch a movie she began with built up the home cinema while Castle washed the dishes.

"Shall I help you?" asked Beckett polite and a little bit shy.

Castle nodded and the two began to clear the table and put all dishes in the dishwasher. "I need to talk to you in private." Beckett said out of nothing. Before Castle could answer her phone was ringing. After a short asking look and a nod from Castle she took the call. "Okay we're on our way." was all she said and Castle knew that they had a new case. "Lanie we've a new body!" she called into the living room and was shooting Castle a apologizing look but he only smiled at her. He knew about what she wanted to talk and after reading the letter he knew to what this talk would have let, but this evening was Alexis evening not theirs so it wasn't that bad that this talk had to wait.

* * *

><p>It was still dark outside when Castle, Beckett and Lanie arrived at the crime scene. Esposito and Ryan were surprised that they all approached the crime scene not only at the same time but also all in Beckett's car. "Alexis was accepted by Princeton and we were all on her party." explained Lanie and went directly to the body, not longer attending the boys.<p>

Esposito was looking a little bit concerned to Beckett, by what she deduced that she murder was the act of a sniper. Castle thought the same given to his current facial expression. "Maybe you should stay away from this one, Beckett." Esposito said finally.

"Thanks Espo, but I think I can handle a sniper case by now at least I think I won't be that fearful for my own life again." Beckett responded and went directly to the body.

"Shot from a distance with a pro riffle, more I can't say by now." Lanie said without being asked.

Esposito walked to them. "We have a picture of the shooter."

"What?" asked Castle, Beckett and Lanie at the exact same time.

"I'm an ex sniper so I deduced out that the sniper had to shoot from up there to hit his victim like he did.", he was pointing at a high building on the other side of the street. "We've late in the night and while the party scene is on by now in the offices you normally don't longer find anyone. I asked for the security records and we just got them. The shot rang about about an hour ago."

"I can confirm this TOD." Lanie throw in.

"However, the records in the building are showing only a few people in the building at this time, but one man catches the eye cos he tries to avoid the security cameras. We have only one photo of his face."

As Esposito show them the picture, Castle sucked in his breath. "What is it Castle?" asked Beckett in concern.

"I know that man. It's an old friend of mine. He can't be the murderer."

"We had this before and …"

Castle interrupted Beckett. "You don't understand, he's dead since fifteen years."

**Thoughts and Reviews please.**


	7. Always Part 1

**And now we are coming to my take on the finale. I hope AM isn't letting us down once again, I already barley watched any episode of this season and I'll stop dealing with this series when the two aren't getting together by the finale and stay a couple!**

"What?" The whole team looked puzzled at Castle for this explanation why his friend couldn't be the murderer. "Than how can this be him?" asked Beckett careful.

Castle shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but this is Cole Maxfield, the man who taught me how to shot and several other things. He was a soldier in the US army and died fifteen years ago in the Kosovo."

It was silent for a longer while. It seemed like an old friend of Castle had just risen form the deaths. "Espo check the record of this Maxfield, I want to know for sure if he's dead or not." Beckett finally ordered. Than she was looking for Castle. "We should go."

The two of them were walking away from the crime scene to the nearest coffee shop. After ordering their coffees they sat down in a booth and waited for it. "So who is this Cole Maxfield?" Beckett asked interested.

Castle mustered her for a moment, before giving the answer: "When I tried to do research for 'In the Hail of Bullets' I met him after contacting the army in order to meet a sniper, who shell taught me how to shot. Cole was nice, a little bit sarcastical and I sometimes sought that he was a little bit insecure. He had sometimes this psychopathic glance in his eyes and showed some sings of misanthropy. But on the other hand he was funny and kinda cool. He tried to convince me to go to the army and was very frustrated by my decision to stay a writer. Back then I haven't the urge to do something that makes a difference like I have now, what is one of the reason why I'm still coming back after all this years.

"Well 1997 he was part of this peace mission in the Kosovo and the reports say that he died on a mission there. I was at his funeral and even hold a short speech. I met one of my best friends there, Ian, and before you asked I never told you something about him because he is in retirement and is living in Miami."

Beckett was smiling at Castle and grabbed his hand because she could sense that he was sad even before the first tears appeared in his eyes. "It's okay. Maybe you're wrong about him being the one on the pictures."

"I wouldn't count on this." said a cold voice, that Castle would have recognized everywhere: Cole Maxfield.

"What are you doing here?" he asked full of anger.

"Ricky, Ricky boy, claim down. Yeah I faked my death but you shouldn't blame not me for that rather your father and his cronies." Cole said as he was sitting himself down at a chair that he took from the neighbor table. Castle and Beckett looked at him in shock and surprise. "Wait, you still don't know that your father were once in the national security council?"

Castle and Beckett changed a few looks before he answered. "Well, I knew that he was involved with the CIA but not that he worked in the white house."

Cole laughed shortly before he became completely serious again. "Nice. So okay I know you two have to arrest me for the murder of Fernando Rodriguez. But you'd wait for what I've to say. Firstly Rick, you'll receive a call very soon from a common friend, secondly when you'll arrest me Detective, I'll never talk. Which leads us to thirdly: You'll let me go for a hint about the killer."

Castle and Beckett changed a few puzzled looks and hold a silent conversation with each other. Cole couldn't help himself but smile, because the two seemed like an old married couple in this moment and he knew that they weren't even together. Beckett was biting her lower lip and fought the urge to accommodate Castle's will about accepting this ridiculous deal. In that moment she also realized what was happening right now and was a little bit shocked. She had watched a few of those conversations between two people: her parents.

"Okay, what is the hint?" she asked finally.

Cole smiled widely while Castle was throwing a death glare at him. "LI-05." With this words he stood up and left the local.

"That's the gang against which we investigated while I was with Slaughter." said Castle and Beckett nodded in understanding. Before she could ask something, Castle's cell rang. He took the call after a short hesitation.

"Mr Castle, here's Mr Smith, we need to met. The same garage as the last time." Smith ended the call before Castle could respond something.

"Who was that?" Beckett asked curious.

"Long story. I've to go and I promise I'll explain later."

Castle stood up and made himself ready to leave as Beckett stopped him with these words: "Was it Mr Smith?" Castle starred at her in shock. "Alexis told me. She also told me that you heard me confessing me lie in interrogation, for what I'm more sorry than I could ever express."

Castle was sitting down again. "When did she told you?"

"After we finished this case with the British involved."

"That would explain a lot, especially your very desperate tries to talk to me." mumbled Castle. He starred down to his hands and recognized that Beckett had grabbed them and rubbed with her thumbs over them. He began to smile. "I read the letter."

Their eyes met and their smiles became very wide, shiny and bright. And that shine also reached their eyes. They were starring at each other for minutes and that properly would have went on for a longer while when the waitress with their coffees wouldn't have approached their table. They thanked her and payed the bills together. "I meant everything I wrote Rick, I love you and I'm sorry for lying to you." she said while she was sipping her coffee.

Her smile was shy and Castle tried to amuse her by smiling happily to her. "I know and I forgive you, because I love you too." Both put away their cups and leaned in for a short but very emotional kiss.

"We should drink our coffees and met Smith." said Castle after they broke their kiss.

Beckett was a little bit puzzled at first but agreed quickly. They drunk their coffees in silents and throw a few shy but loving looks at each other. After finishing their drinks they left the local and drove to the mysterious basement garage where Castle met Smith the last time. "He'll think that you don't know anything about this so he'll ask a few questions." Castle whispered towards her while they were standing in the garage and were waiting for the appearance of Mr Smith.

"I thought we had agreed that Detective Beckett shouldn't be inducted into this." The voice of Mr Smith came out of the nothing and from behind the two friends. They turned around and located a man, who stood in the shadows of the garage.

"Well blame my daughter she told her and I would have had to tell her this evening by myself." countered Castle. He set himself in front of Beckett in order to protect her and even while she hated this, she could watch over herself, something inside of her began to feel very warm. For the first time in her life since her mother died she was happy that somebody tried to protect her.

"I had to hear that the man who shot at her", Smith pointed at Beckett, "was killed this night. They have no idea who was it and suspect somebody who tries to protect you two, what makes it very difficult for me to keep up the deal with the dragon." he informed them.

"Than why you're not giving the info you have to the press or the FBI or the police?" Beckett asked the man with a stronger voice than she thought she would have.

Smith was eying her suddenly with an angry glare, that made Castle and Beckett swallow very hard and send her a cold shiver down her spine. "When I would go to the public with my knowledge without them try to kill you, they'll kill you cos I broke the deal."

"Isn't completely ridiculous to make such a deal while you could have gone straight to the police in order to press charges against these people." Beckett countered.

Smith laughed. "The world isn't all black and white Detective, when you'd know what I know than you wouldn't say something like that." And with this words he faded in the dark, leaving Castle and Beckett with fear for their lives.

**Thoughts?**


	8. Always Part 2

**Second Part of the finale. Enjoy**

After their meeting with Smith Castle and Beckett drove back to the 12th, not in the hope for some answers, they knew that they wouldn't get them there in anyway, but to keep up appearances. On the whole way they discussed, nearly argued about telling or not telling Ryan and Esposito. Beckett got a little bit mad when Castle told her that Ryan was already a little bit involved.

"Well, you remember the case in which the mayor was involved?"

"Yeah."

"Smith contacted me and explained that the dragon neither wants to see Bob as the new governor nor keeping him as a mayor, cos that would mean me staying in the precinct and in his eyes, and Smith's by the way to, I were the only one capable to keep you away from your mother's case. Well after hearing that the dragon was involved, I ordered Ryan to inform me but nobody else if a connection between the two cases would occur." Castle tried to explain.

They both remained silent for the rest of the car drive. Beckett began to speak again in the precinct elevator. "Okay, I understand why you told Ryan but why haven't you trusted me with this? Heck, it was my case." she protested.

"Because of that. We both know how easily that case affects you and gets under your skin. When I remember right you once banned me from your life cos I reopened this damned case, for what I have greater guilt feelings as for anything else I have ever done in my life."

Beckett knew she had to accept this answer and she knew it was right. She surrendered again, yet she only had to remind herself that there was a certain reason for that: she loved the man next to her and dreamed of a possible future together. She had to forgive him for that and for making them work she knew she would have to concede him more than any of her previous boyfriends, and she was more than willing in doing so. Beckett glanced up at the story-sings and made quick decision; she kissed him shortly on the cheek at the perfect time than after pulling away, the elevator doors opened.

"Are we now going to tell them?" Castle asked a little bit puzzled about the cheek-kiss.

"Only when we have to. What we did was committing a crime and I don't want them being part of it." Castle nodded in understanding and agreement.

When they entered the bullpen Ryan and Esposito, who already had prepared the white board, were awaiting them. "I asked an old friend in the army CID, he confirmed that Maxfield died fifteen years ago in Kosovo." Esposito informed them.

"Okay, but we still have photo with him." Castle responded.

"Yeah but he's dead and buried. You could also be mistaken." countered Esposito.

Beckett stepped in before this could become a real argument. "Screw on it, Espo I want that you and Ryan try to find out who that mysterious guy is. When he's our murder when can't lose time, the last time a sniper on the lose killed several people before we caught him, when I can remind you of that."

The boys immediately followed this order and went to their desk. A minute later, Castle and Beckett were in the break room making coffee, Esposito received a call from Lanie. Afterward he went directly to Beckett and Castle. "Lanie found the wallet of the man in a hidden pocket on the inside of his jacket. His name was Raul Hernandez, Ryan is checking the name right now and the search warrant is out." he informed them.

"God work. I'll call Gates and inform her. Castle you can go home when you want to." Beckett said.

Castle shook his head at Beckett's offer. "No, I'm not going while you're working on this case." Esposito thought Castle's comment had something to do with Beckett's PTSD but she knew better, he was concerned about her because this was her mother's case and because she was in life danger again. He wouldn't leave her side while a hitman was after her. Hence she gave him permission to stay the night.

After Ryan has gotten the address of Hernandez Castle and Beckett, who had called Gates and told her about the new case but left out the fact that Castle's old friend, who was confirmed being dead, was properly the murder, drove to it. The man lived in a little cheap apartment in the Lower East Side. Nothing in the whole habitation seemed like somebody was living there on a regular basis. There were no pictures, barley anything to eat in the fridge, the walls were empty from anything even color. "Did somebody really lived in here?" Castle asked after a few minutes.

"When I wouldn't know better than I'd say no."

Then something caught their eyes, the closet in the bedroom. Beckett opened it and what they found were a sniper riffle, a cash box, two guns and a collection of knife as well as a great bunch of ammunition. Beckett gathered the cash box from the closet and after changing a look with Castle she opened the box. "Okay his money is somewhere different." Castle commented the note that was in the box.

"Oh really Rick, I wouldn't have thought that." Beckett said sarcastically.

"Hey, why are you only using Rick for insulting me?" he protested.

"I don't."

"Yes you do, you just did."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Rick, I haven't had the chance to call you by your forename thanks to Ryan and Esposito but not because I only use it to insult you." Before Castle could protest she kissed him shortly on the lips. While was completely astonished by this behavior Beckett took out the note. It was a shooting list and she and Castle stood on the top of it. "Rick." was all she said before handing him the note.

Full of shock he read it. Several names were crossed out but only behind their names Hernandez had wrote something: Not dead yet. He swallowed hardly. "What are we now going to do?"

"I don't know. When Gates finds this out, we're of the case and when we keep it a secret and she finds out I'm suspended, when I've luck." Beckett sighed and sat down on the bed, Castle followed her example.

"It took Lanie time to find the wallet therefore it's safe to assume that she already had taken fingerprints and send them to the lab before we found out the ID of our victim. The lab will find out that our victim is your shooter and then we're of the case as well."

"You're wright. We should tell her."

Castle put his arm around her and attracted her to him. "What ever happens I'll be there for you, always."

"I know and I'll be there for you, too." They shared their already second real kiss, the two kisses from Beckett not counted, in only one day.

* * *

><p>Back at the precinct it became already bright outside. "Beckett we've some bad news." Ryan said immediately after spotting her.<p>

"I know, Hernandez was the man who shot at me." Beckett responded and handed an evidence bag over to Ryan. "Please bring that to the lab, I'll inform Gates that Castle and I are of the case."

Ryan nodded, a little bit shocked about Beckett's calm reaction about this revelation. After changing a nervous look with Esposito he went down to the lab.

Castle sat himself down at his chair besides Beckett's desk. Beckett began to work on some old paper work. "You can go home now Castle, the case is over for us."

"And why is it?" Gates asked, who was just coming into the precinct.

"When Castle and I were in the apartment of the victim we found a list of names, our two were on top. The first few, ours included, were crossed through but behind our names were written 'Not dead yet', and Ryan informed me that the dead, Raul Hernandez, the sniper was who shot at me." explained Beckett.

Gates was surprised by this respond. "Okay, where is this list?"

"Ryan's bringing it to the lab."

"Good, you're of the case Detective and you too Mr Castle." with this words Gates vanished into her office.

"I'll go home and check on LI-05." Castle said suddenly.

"What?"

"Cole said that the case had something to do with this gang, so I'll check on it. You can't do this here and I've to confess that I know your password, so I'm completely capable of doing this task at home."

"That isn't what I meant, and about the password thing we'll speak later. What I meant was, that you won't touch this case anymore, understand?"

"What? Why?"

"Cos we're both at life danger. We're standing on a hitlist and were already warned by Smith about the dragon might want to kill us now. We've to stay out of this."

"But how? We're the only ones who knows that much and like you said, when we're telling Ryan and Esposito they're as guilty of a crime as we're right now. There's no other way to prevent our death."

"There is, there always is. And have I to remind you of the fact that we already this conversation last year?"

"Last year?"

"Yeah, when you told me that I gotten obsessed with my mother's murder. The same is just right now happening to you Rick and I won't will watch you throwing your life away just when I gotten my back to share it with you."

The two were starring into each other eyes. "Do you really want to share your life with me, your whole life?"

"Yes that I want, but that can only work out when you want to do the same with your life, but when you're throwing it away like this than there isn't anything to share anymore."

"Okay I understand. I'll keep away from the case. But I'll still going home, I've to finish my current book." They nodded and he stood up. "Diner together?" he asked as he stood behind her.

Beckett turned around. "Sure. Where?"

"I don't know, your decision."

"I'll call you." They both smiled a last time at each other before Castle left the precinct.

**Thoughts?**


	9. Always Part 3

**The chapter stars a little bit angsty, but no fear there will be an happy end. Enjoy**

Castle was sitting on his laptop and was desperately trying to fight the urge of looking into the files about LI-05. After nearly an hour he gave up and locked himself into the system. What he read made his stomach clench. The gang was the most brutal Latino gang in whole New York City and ruled over the majority of Brooklyn's streets and worked together with the Chinese mob as well as several drug cartels. After an half hour he heard a knock at the door. Alexis was in school and Martha was teaching her own one, so he wondered who could it be. As he looked through the pee hole he was surprised that Beckett was the visitor.

"Couldn't longer stand don't seeing me anymore, Kate?" he asked silly smiling.

But Beckett wasn't in mode for fun. "How could you dare?"

"What could I dare, Kate?"

"How could you dare to look into the files for LI-05? Don't you think I wouldn't recognize it? God damn Rick, I sought you were in this just like me but it seems that you aren't or at least not anymore."

"Wait. What? I'm in this, whatever it is, with everything I have." Castle protested.

"Oh really? Then why have you broken your promise? Don't say anything, I don't want to hear anything. I love you Rick and because of this I'll give you a second chance." She gave him a card. "That's the card of my therapist. Visit him and speak with him. Don't come back till you decided yourself between solving this damned case or us." With this words Beckett were gone and Castle couldn't help but stare after her. Had this just really happened? Had Beckett asked him, _him_, to decided between her and her mother's case? Hasn't she always been the one desperately trying to solve this case? Had their roles changed? Was he now the one with the problem and she the rational one when it came to this case?

He didn't even closed the door right as he went back into the living room and sat down on his couch. He starred in the nothing. Kate had just thrown him out of her life again, but this time for the first time with a open chance to go back. But was it this easy to decide between her and her mother's case? He needed to make a decision and for that he called Martha for help.

"Honey I've work to do, what's up?" she responded her cell.

"I need your help." He explained her the whole situation and began to fight back the tears as he told her that Beckett had him banned again from her life. "What shall I do?"

"You don't really ask this question right now, aren't you?"

"Why I shouldn't?"

"Cos you both love each other and she tried everything she could to get rid of this case in order to come clean with it and so ready for you. You now have to do the same before it's too late my son."

"But this is important. This guys could walk free till the day they die without punishment."

"Let her colleagues handle this case. Answer me just this one question: Do you love Kate?"

"Yeah."

"Do you still want to spend the rest of your life with her?"

"Yeah."

"And are you still completely convinced that she's the one?"

"Yeah." he admitted defeated.

"Where is the question then? Go to this Dr. Bruke and speak with him and then go to Beckett and apologize yourself to her. She'll forgive you when she really loves you."

After this conversation Castle sat a long time alone in his living room, doing nothing.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Ryan and Esposito reported Gates about the case. "Our victim is Raul Hernandez, a contract killer and the man who shot Beckett about a year ago. So it's safe to assume that he's in fact working for the man, whom Raglan and McCallister only called the dragon. The killer could be Cole Maxfield, at least Castle identified him to be it the only problem is that the military announced dead."<p>

"Any proofs for Mr Castle's assumption?" Gates asked angrily.

"No, but like you said it was just an assumption of him." Ryan answered.

"What's about the hitlist?"

"We're checking it right now but like it seems everybody who was crossed through is dead, besides Beckett and Castle. We're still looking for connections but we could need help for that." responded Esposito.

"I'll assign you help from Detective Karpowski's team. Anything else?"

The two detectives negated this and left her office. "I feel bad, bro." Ryan said suddenly.

"What? Why? For what?" Esposito couldn't decide himself what question word was the right one for this comment.

"What is when it comes out that Montgomery was involved and we knew it? Castle will get banned from the police forever and get reprimand, we'll lose our badges, in best case, and Beckett would definitely go to prison, we maybe too." he explained himself.

"Ease yourself bro. It doesn't have to come out and as long we four are not tellin' anybody about what we know, then there's no way that we'll get punished."

"I hope you're right."

"Sure I'm right, now let us work, we've to find out who killed this bastard in order to give him a medal before arresting him." Esposito's comment about the medal made Ryan laugh a bit and eased the heavy atmosphere at their desk. Ryan had always been a little bit more afraid about their dark secret, Montgomery's involvement in the whole case, than the rest of them.

* * *

><p>At the same time Beckett sat in the office of Dr. Bruke. "He does this out of concern for you Kate." Bruke said and tried to calm her down, without any success.<p>

"I know doctor, I know, but that isn't changing the fact that he's doing the same mistake as I didn't last year: he lets himself consumed by this case and isn't longer thinking straightly about his own safety." Beckett was running up and down the office.

"I sought he was always concerned about the safety of this daughter?"

"Yeah he's, but right now he isn't longer concerned about his own safety, doctor. I think he just can't forget seeing me lying there in the grass, dying and bleeding and is willing to do anything to prevent that this isn't happening again." Beckett had stopped at the window while she was talking and was looking out in the city, her city, their city.

"Think of you. When your mother died you couldn't think of anything else than catching the killer and that did you for a long time. He's now thinking about catching this guy who shot you."

"This guy is dead, he was murdered last night." Beckett said slowly.

"Oh, okay than he's now after the man who ordered the hit. Kate he's doin' what he's doin' out of love for you but you also have to understand that he already loves you when you were shot and seeing the person you love dying is something very traumatizing especially when you don't have anybody or anythin' to blame for it." Bruke explained to her.

Beckett was going back to the armchair opposite to Bruke's chair and sat down. "I told him he should go to here and speak with you."

"That was a good decision."

"But was it also a good decision to give him an ultimate? To force him to decide between me and this case? What is when he's already so obsessed with it like I was last year and decides himself for the case instead for me?" Tears began to form in her eyes and she tried to repress them by fast blinking what made everything only worse.

"It was the right decision, Kate. But only time will tell if he'll make the right decision." Bruke tried to calm her down but this words weren't the right ones for this task.

"I love him, I can't", she stopped shortly, "I can't stand losing him."

"I know Kate, you just have to give him some time."

"But I begin to see the same scene from the shooting over and over again, I mean the one where he's confessing his love to me, but this time it isn't him talking it's me and he's bleeding. I can see these pictures while I'm wide awake, so what happens when I sleep? Can I still sleep or will I be haunted by nightmares for the rest of my life?" The first tears began to fall down.

"Kate when you love somebody you're always concerned about losing him."

"I know, but do I've to see him dying from now on for the rest of my life?"

"No but it's like with the PTSD and your obsession with your mother's murder, there's no switch off button somewhere you'll have to work on it and try your best to come clean with the possibility of his death. The best way would be to remind you that someday we all will die."

Beckett took all of these words in and reflected them. She knew that she should listen to what Bruke said, till now everything he said helped her to overcome or to get closer to overcome regarding to her issues. "I'll do my best."

"I know. Is there anything else what you want to say to me?"

"No." Bruke led her out of his office and in the waiting room they met somebody, who neither of them had accepted: Castle. "Rick what are you doing here?"

"Well I thought about what you're said and you were right, I'm making the same mistake as you did last year and I realized that I can't lose you."

His voice was completely honest and Beckett grabbed him faster than the wind and pressed a emotional and passionate kiss. Castle responded immediately and opened his mouth for her tongue. After nearly a minute of kissing the two broke apart and smiled at each other. The other ones in the room applauded them happily. "I think we should go now." Beckett insisted.

**WARNING: These part is M rated, don't read when you don't like stories like this or when you're too young to read stuff like this.**

They drove to his loft, which was closer to Bruke's office, and could barley keep their hands from each other. As soon they were out of the car they began to kiss again, even more fierce than before, and the tension became thicker and thicker. When they stepped into the loft, Castle closed the door with his foots because his hands were busy with opening the buttons of Beckett's blouse. "Do you really want this?" he asked between the kisses but didn't stopped what he was doing right now.

"More than anything else in the world." Beckett moaned into his mouth.

He pinned her around and pressed her against the front door. "Martha and Alexis?"

"Won't be home until the evening." he answered the obvious question.

"Good." She began to open the buttons of his shirt while he was already done with hers and tossed it together with her jacket somewhere in the living room.

His mouth left hers as she finally managed to free him from his shirt and traveled along jaw, down her neck, over her shoulder to the strip of her bra. He reached besides her and opened it with a skillful move. Their upper bodies were pressed together for the first time and they both couldn't repress a moan. Too long they have waited for this, too long had took them to reach this point in their relationship.

Castle continued the travel of his mouth down her collarbone to her breast. He kissed both of them very carefully before sucking in one nipple while pleasing the other one with his hand, after a short moment he changed the sides. Beckett groaned and moaned his name, while she was nuzzled his her with one hand and with the other one his good trained torso. One of her knees went up and wrapped itself around his waist. She had to groan even loader than before as she felt his hardness pressed into her core.

Castle groaned to then her core was so wet and hot that he could feel it through both of their pants and underwear. He kissed and sucked at her neck, careful not to leave any marks. Too careful for Beckett. She bit and sucked his neck at the right spot to make him groan, which sounded nearly like a scream of her name, with what she left a hickey at his neck. He understood this sign as an invitation and did the same with her neck.

"I think we'll have to wear turtlenecks for the next few days." he said smiling while he was still kissing her skin.

"Stop talking." she demanded.

"After one more question: Where is your scar?"

She swallowed. Here she was, pinned against his entrance door with a naked upper body, turned up like she like hell and he was asking her for her scar. "After the last sniper case I didn't longer wanted to be reminded of it the whole time so I went to a plastic surgeon and let it covered up." she explained.

"Why?"

"I felt ugly and every time when I saw myself in a mirror I had to think of this damned shooting and I didn't want this anymore. Furthermore I wanted to look hotter for you." Her cheeks blushed by this comment.

Castle kissed her on her nose. "You were always hot, sexy, beautiful or what ever word exist for this terms for me." He kissed her again on her mouth and soon they were back at what they had done previously: making out in order of foreplay.

She swung her second leg around his waist and he grabbed her ass with one of his hands. Their hands were all over the body of the other one and somehow they managed to get rid of their shoes before Beckett began to work on his belt. He stopped her with the hand he had previously on her ass and sat her down. He removed his pants by himself but left his, already baggy boxers on. Then he opened her pants and removed them slowly together with her panties by kissing down her right leg. After her pants pooled on the floor he kissed his way up again her left leg. When he gotten to her pussy, he kissed it and sucked shortly, what made her moan louder then the whole time before. He traveled farther upwards till her reached her mouths. The taste of her was still in it and that made her crazy. She swung her legs again around his waist and ripped down his boxers.

"Do I need a …?"

"I'm clean and you?"

"I'm."

"Then you don't need a condom. I'll get the pill later."

They both grinned and he smashed into her, what made her cry in pleasure. Her fingers dug into his shoulders while he tried to find the right paste. "Faster." she bagged and he obeyed.

"Oh god Kate, you're so tight, so wet, this feels so good!" he screamed. His hands were on her hips and helped her to complement his rhythm. With every thrust he became faster and he kissed her neck in order to not scream her name out in pleasure while he wasn't even coming yet.

She tried the same but failed. Her head tilted back and she cried out in complete pleasure. Before she knew it the first wave of pleasure rushed through her and her orgasm shattered her. Her muscles clenched and he was short before coming to but he did his best to let this last longer. With success: he continued to thrust into her and made her scream his name again and again till she came a second time. He couldn't help himself but empty himself into her, but instead of stopping he continued to fuck her. Till his penis began to shrink inside her she came two more times.

They both fall down on the ground, their legs couldn't longer support them. Their sweaty bodies were pressed against each other. "You were right Kate, I had no idea." Castle said finally after getting his breath back.

"I hadn't one either." she admitted with a smile.

"We should take this to the bed room." He stood up and helped her up too.

"I've to work, Gates will kill me when I'm not coming back soon."

Castle sighed. "But you're coming back later?"

"Sure. Why not, silly?"

They kissed again and began to get dressed again. "Kate do you want to be my girlfriend?"

**Thoughts?**


	10. Always Part 4

**This is the finale part of the story, at least in regard to the fourth season. I don't know if I'll continue.**

"Kate do you want to be my girlfriend?"

This question left Beckett completely shocked. She and Castle just had sex for the first time and that not even very romantic, they did it against his front door. The expression on her face let Castle feel hurt again. Was he played again. "I don't no what to say." she admitted after nearly a minute and realizing that she was Castle hurting again.

"Yes or no." his voice was near to cold again.

That was everything what she needed. "Yes I want to, more than anything." she said with tears in her eyes and she was jumping to him. They hugged and kissed each other. "Shall we go to the precinct or do you have to write?"

"No I don't have to write. Why, do you want to tell everybody the good news?"

She shook her head. "Not now. When we shall do it in private without the possibility that Gates is listening. I just want to have you around me."

They smiled and kissed again before leaving the loft. They didn't headed to the precinct directly they made a stopover at a coffee shop to celebrate their new relationship with a coffee.

When they reached the precinct it was hard for them not to grab the hand of each other but the scene in front of them when they left the elevator made it easier for them. Ryan and Esposito were walking past the elevator, together with Gates, whom they updated in the case.

"We've checked on everybody on the hitlist. The most of them are cops or ex cops, a few worked for the DA's office, all of them knew Raglan and McCallister. Besides of two, Ian Matters and Barbara Chesterton, who never met them." reported Ryan.

"But they met one of their colleagues more than one time: Roy Montgomery."

"My predecessor?" Gates asked astonished.

Castle and Beckett were also in shock. Ryan and Esposito broke their promises to keep this information a secret. The two changed looks and decided to play along and to pretend as if they didn't knew anything about this.

"Yeah. We don't know what he have to do with this but we know from our previous investigations that he was something like a protégé for 'em." Esposito guessed.

"So you think that Captain Montgomery were a dirty cop as a young detective? Is there any kind of proof for that?"

"Besides the testimonies of several people, including a bar keeper from their pub, that the three were very close and that he's the only connection between Matters and Chesterton and the other ones on this list, no there's nothing." Ryan commented the question.

They both felt very guilty for reveal this information after promising to keep it to themselves for ever. But this guilt should be decreased very fast.

"Well it would make sense, wouldn't it?" Beckett throw in. All looked at her and Castle. "Montgomery lured me and Castle into the hanger where he killed Lockwood as a trap for him, without saying anything. How could he have know that Lockwood would come?"

"And Pullgati, this mobster who was sentenced for the murder of Arman, said that it were three kidnappers not two." Castle added.

Gates shook her head. "God damn it. I hated this always back then on IA, to arrest good officers for stupid mistakes and the most of them they've done as rookies." This was a new side of Gates, a more human side. "I'll speak with Montgomery's family and you two will try to find evidences for this theory." she ordered.

"Sir, I think it would be better when I or Castle would be present when you're talking to the family." Beckett noted.

"And why, detective?"

"Because we both know the family. I were several times over at their house and had dinners with them and Castle and the Captain were good friends." she explained

"I had known him before I even had met Beckett. We played in the same poker round." Castle added.

Gates looked very bugged but it was clearly to see that she was considering the possibility of taking them with her. "Okay, but you'll remain silent Mr Castle."

After Gates had walked past them Beckett, Castle, Ryan and Esposito changed a few guilt loaded looks before returning to their jobs.

* * *

><p>When Castle, Beckett and Gates arrived at the house of the Montgomerys Castle and Beckett immediately recognized that there was something odd. Both had been in this house even after Montgomery's death more than one time and behind the windows was it way to silent for a household with two children.<p>

Gates knocked at the door, which opened immediately but nobody stood behind it. She pulled out her gun and Beckett did the same, the later one signaling Castle to stay behind. After all three entered the building the door closed and a gun was aimed against Castle's head. "Nice to see you, I sought you'd come earlier. Drop your guns ladies."

It was Cole. He led them into the kitchen, after Gates and Beckett dropped their guns. There sat the three Montgomery women tied to chairs. "Have you told your boss about our little meetin'?"

"What meeting?" Gates asked angrily.

"After we were at the crime scene we went into a coffee shop for coffee and as we sat there Cole approached our table. He was offering us a deal: a hint about the murder and the identity of the victim when we would let him go. I had no other choice, we would have gotten nothing if I would have arrested him." Beckett explained.

"For that you'll get suspended when we're out of here and I'll convene a fact finding committee to fire you Beckett." Gates responded.

"Okay now I can understand why you haven't told her." Cole commented and throw a rob in the direction of Beckett. "Enchain!" he ordered and pointed at Gates. Right now in this moment there was nothing what Beckett would have preferred to do, besides to save Castle. After doing that he ordered Castle to do the same with Beckett. He tried his best to be polite and to convince Cole to give up but he only smiled. Then he enchained Castle too. "Do you know why I'm here?" he asked. Everybody shook the head. "I tried to fool LI-05 for nearly one million dollars and that failed, now I've to do something to calm them down."

"What have this LI-05, what ever it is, to do with us?" Mrs Montgomery was crying out loud.

Cole laughed softly. "Your husband were a dirty cop, he was a accomplice of Raglan and McCallister at their crimes. But other than 'em he regreted everythin' and tried to made up for his sins. He investigated against the guy who blackmailed all their dirty money from them, but in order to keep you alive he never used this material to arrest him. The same what this coward of Smith is doin' right now." he explained.

"Who's Smith?" Gates asked, now completely confused.

"The man whom Monty send all information about the case immediately before he died and the one who protected our lovely Detective Beckett here from harms since her shootin'. He made Ricky here sign up to keep her away from this case and to keep it all a secret but it seems to me that he hasn't done that, or not?"

"He kept me away and he didn't told me since a few days ago." Beckett jumped in for her partner.

"Aha, I understand. Gibbs' rule number one: never screw over your partner. Well were was I? Oh yeah, LI-05 had tried to gain more power in Manhattan but failed thanks to the dragon, who has his dirty hands nearly everywhere. I made the deal to bring 'em the dragon and they'll let me go. In order so I found Smith, got a few information out of him or should I say I stole 'em? Screw on it, I gotten the name of Hernandez and killed him. Now the organization of the dragon is very worried about this whole thing. They'll try to find out, who's behind all of this and I placed a trace that will let 'em to this house and when they are here, they're gonna be killed by a bomb just like you're. I'm sorry Ricky, I didn't planned that you three would die here to, but it was your own fault to turn up after my plan was already set in motion."

"Go to hell!" was Castles whole comment to that.

"Not now, I think I still have a little bit time on the surface of this nice planet." Cole said and left the kitchen. Then they heard the front door closing and they were alone.

"Oh my god, was are we now going to do?" screamed on of the Montgomerys.

"At first calm down." Castle ordered. "We need something to get rid of theses ropes."

"Behind you is lying a knife."

"Thanks Mrs. Montgomery." Castle began to move with his chair as good as he could backwards to the kitchen counter in order to get the knife. He succeeded and gotten the knife into his hands. After a few minutes he were free and began to free Beckett.

At the same time three black cars were stopping in front of the house. Four men stepped out of every car and pulled out their guns. Four man were left behind at the cars while eight man were walking towards the front door, the other four went to the other side of the house. As the men stepped into the house, it exploded.

**Thoughts?**

**PS: After watching "The Limey" I can say that I don't will continue the story and I don't even know if I shall bother myself with re-writing it because of the gramma mistakes, cos I've quite the show now and will properly never return. Thank you Mr Marlowe for destroying your own shown. That's what I call the Russell T Davis-curse (success which leads to insanity) and from next year on nobody will talk about the Moonlighting-Curse anymore only about the Castle-curse.**


End file.
